THE HIDEOUS MELONHEADS

Tale from Ryan Orvis

"I went to the library and found a newspaper article from the West Geauga Sun claiming that a Dr. Kroh had been influenced by Gregor Mendel and was experimenting on humans to increase the size of their heads. His experiments failed, and in a fit of pique he piled his genetic mutations into his car and left them by the side of Chagrin River Road in Kirtland, where they presumably fled into the woods and have remained to this day.

I next visited the health department to look up death dertificates on any Chardon residents named Crow, Crowe, or Kroh. There were records of people with these names, but none of them appeared to be doctors and all had died of natural causes. My investigation was further hindered by the fact that I could not pin down these events to a specific time period or location. assuming they had happened at all.

Just when I thought I would be returning empty-handed, I tracked down an expert on local folklore who was able to give me the official version of the Melon Head legend. The legend, according to her, was that Dr. Crow and his wife lived together in a cottage where they cared for children afflicted with hydrocephalus. The children adored Mrs. Crow but weren't so keen on her husband. One night the couple got into an arguement, and Mrs. Crow fell against a cabinet, suffering a fatal blow to the head. Thinking Dr. Crow had murdered his wife, the children attacted and killed him. They then proceeded to tear the place apart, setting fire to the cottage in the process. Some of them survived to dwell in the surrounding woods, living off animals and occasionally attacking humans when threatened (or really hungry).

The cold hard facts of the case, though, left me a bit disappointed, so skip this next part if you want to remain pleasantly disturbed by the myth. In the late '50s and early '60s a few children with hydrcephalus lived in northeast Ohio. One of them lived on Wisner Road and was enrolled in the Kirtland school district. The boy and his 'normal' friends, who were all preteens, would creep up on parked cars and scare away the older kids. The frightened students would tell their peers at school that they had been 'chased by the Melon Heads!' Children afflicted with hydrocephalus do not live very long, so the original Melon Head died of natural causes. He is buried in Kirtland South Cemetery. His friends are now businessmen in Kirtland.

While I have discovered the origin of the Melon Head legend, I felt as though I'd just scraped the tip of the iceberg as far as the folklore of northest Ohio is concerned. As my plane took off for Los Angeles, I could feel the magnetic pull of those mysterious woods drawing me in for further adventures. I knew that the next time I returned, it wouldn't be just the home-cooked meals calling me back to Melon Head Country."-Ryan Orvis

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