Goon Spotting on Goon Road

Tale from James P.

"In high school, my friends and I weren't the smartest or most creative people, but we did have a real sense of adventure and often drank mass quantities of liquid courage. One of our favorite ways to waste a couple of hours on a weekend was to make our way out to Goon Road. We had heard from some older guys in the area that there was a compound where a whole bunch of inbred freaks, all related in one way or another, lived in the woods along this road. These goons laid in wait, hoping to capture and kill anyone who wandered into their woods.

We used to love pulling up alongside the area where they supposedly lived and shouting taunts aimed at getting them to try to drag us into the woods, where they would presumably murder us. We always wanted to see if they were really deformed from the generations of inbreeding. We had some tried-and-true phrases aimed at baiting them out to the roadside, such as 'Hey, goons!' and 'Yo, where you at goons?' Like I said, we weren't the most creative bunch.

One night I was driving, and my friend Pete was hanging halfway out the passenger-side window, yelling at the goons. Suddenly he leaped back into the car, completely freaked out and totally pale and shaking. He told me to gun it—so I did.

When we reached a safer area, he calmed down a bit and told me that while he was yelling into the woods, he saw the silhouette of something emerge from behing one tree and run toward another. He had a hard time making it out, but he saw that it moved quickly, with a lurching, limping type of run. He still claims to have seen a bona fide goon, out looking for victims.

I had always assumed that the goons of Goon Road were just a legend, but now I'm not so sure. Who knows, maybe there is a freaky family out there looking for blood!" -James P.

Tale from Joe O.

Tale from James P.

Tale from Debbie Vanusdoll